The holidays can be both joyous and difficult for most of us. Certainly, time spent with family and the abundance of gifts and food are a privilege not to be taken for granted. It can also be a period of anxiety and frustration. For those without a home or loved ones the holidays are particularly difficult. Our collective goal at this time of year is to make this season special, momentarily leaving behind personal difficulties.

In each of the programs this month, we have focused on holiday-themed projects. The Art and Spirituality participants at prison have been busy making holiday cards for family and decorations for their units. Many of the Common Art participants have been busy preparing for this weekend’s art sale but also found time to create decorations for their upcoming celebration. Café Emmanuel enjoyed a celebratory meal with live holiday jazz music provided by the Boston Conservatory of Music. From a musical performance to humble holiday decorations, these are all special moments significant in heart and joy.

This past week I had a lengthy discussion with one of the Common Art participants as I was directing others to our temporary space within the chapel. She shared a story of someone she described as being “down on his luck.” She went on to say that in spite of his dire circumstances, he used his limited resources to buy her lunch. Commenting on the rarity of such a selfless gesture, she then observed the equal importance of also taking care of yourself.

I was a bit taken aback by how relevant her story was to this particular month. There is a tremendous amount of joy and personal satisfaction in the giving of oneself and gifts during the holidays. It is beneficial to both the recipient and the provider. But, as my wise friend pointed out it is equally important to take care of oneself. We should all give ourselves permission to enjoy and rejuvenate. It is our responsibility to look beyond the inevitable stressors and focus on the beauty of the season and the hopefulness of human nature. That woman’s friend gave to her in spite of having little to give. She in turn gave to me by telling me the story.

This will be our last post for a month while Briana Heller and I take our winter break. We greatly look forward to our return and the further sharing of our experiences with you. Happy Holidays to you all.

–Brianna Babick

Psalm 139:11  “Darkness and light to You are both alike.”

I recently had a powerful experience while talking to one of the women at Art and Spirituality.  I was at a table with two women when one of the ladies commented on how everyone around her was so creative, and she did not feel equally talented; she explained that this is why she was afraid to take the creative writing course offered at Suffolk House of Correction.  I was asking her about this, with the plan of encouraging her to try the course, when the other woman at the table interjected, “I took that course and I’m never taking it again.” This was another statement that I wanted to explore deeper, and before I recommended that the one woman take this course, I wanted to first give credit and respect to the fact that the other woman at the table had an unfavorable experience; it may not be a good course to recommend to someone at all.

“You didn’t like the course?” I asked the second woman – we’ll call her Jane.  She responded by sharing a very important and very touching story with me:

Jane explained that, at the age of thirty, this is her first time in prison, and it is one of the lowest and darkest points in her life. In Jane’s own words, she’s depressed. Thus, when it came to the creative writing course, Jane wrote poems that were dark and sad – reflective of her inner state. However, the teacher that led the creative writing course did not want Jane to read her dark poetry to the other participants in the class.  Verbally sharing one’s writing is part of that creative writing class, but Jane’s feelings – Jane’s truth – was determined to be too difficult to share.  She felt completely stifled and ashamed of her own feelings.  To me, it seemed like Jane was being sent the message that it isn’t okay to have negative feelings, and it’s especially unacceptable to share those dim emotions. I strongly disagree and I wanted Jane to feel validated in her emotions – both the emotions she had written about and the feelings she had about the class – so I shared with Jane that I feel like it’s important to vent your negative emotions because they are a natural part of human experience.  This started a lengthy and beautiful conversation about accepting that difficult emotions are an intrinsic part of life, and one should not be made to feel ashamed of them.

Everyone experiences sadness, anger, and other unfavorable feelings throughout their life, and sharing these feelings with others is one way we can achieve catharsis.  We feel less alone when we learn that our feelings resonate with others; there is a poignancy to life that connects all people, but the potential for that connect is lost when we are forced to quell our challenging feelings because it makes others uncomfortable – likely because they are unaccepting of their own shadow side.  It is okay to feel down, and it is okay to be open about our struggles.

— Briana Heller

“A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.”  — Bill Hicks

In light of what is happening in our world today, this quote from comedian Bill Hicks keeps coming to mind.  There are certain groups of people that provoke our fears.  We clutch our purses a little tighter, we look down and give them a wide berth when crossing paths on the sidewalk, and we choose not to engage (if we can help it) with people that we have been taught will cause us harm.  Continue reading →