Light in the Darkness

Greetings Emmanuelites and Happy 2014! I was sick for most of last week, so I missed both Common Art and Café Emmanuel. However, last Monday at the prison there were some new faces as well as some women who had not been present to make cards for their loved ones in a few weeks. It is always such a wonderful feeling when the women return to make art and engage in creating a community with us. I love to see their smiling faces and hear their greetings. Some of them have even felt comfortable enough to hug the volunteers hello and goodbye and I have noticed a much more talkative room these last few weeks.

I am realizing a shift from the women’s reserve and guardedness to more trust. This makes me so happy because it means that they feel safe in our group. I know that was part of Pam’s intention when she started this program seventeen years ago and Amanda, Evey, and I are grateful to continue this legacy as we learn about what it means to be therapists and about people’s needs for therapeutic encounters. I am constantly reminded of the women’s lack of access to freedom of expression and emotional safety.

As the room filled with shared ideas, jokes, and laughter the women sitting with Amanda and me began talking about a prison art class. Excited to hear that there were other opportunities for artistic expression at the prison, I asked eagerly what kinds of art the women make in class. The woman across from me explained that they learn how to do letter heads, cover letters, and use the computer. I was disappointed. I felt it was unjust to call that an art class.

I understand in a practical way and concerning state funding why it would be important for the women to learn these kinds of skills, but I couldn’t help but think that the name of the class was misleading and missed the point of art all together. It became clear to me that Pam’s Art and Spirituality group is the women’s only time scheduled time for free expression and true emotional safety that the women have. It is their only time to use scissors, markers, colored pencils, and crayons. These are materials that were provided to me from kindergarten through elementary school. I can’t help but think what’s wrong with this picture? Still I try to focus on the outlet that we provide the women to connect with their own creative spirits, the possibility to explore emotion through an artistic process, and most of all their connection to loved ones, especially their children for whom they often make cards.

In this awareness I looked to the woman on my right who was engrossed in making a card for her daughter. The woman was completely present, completely involved and enjoying what she was in the process of making. I smiled and remarked to her “you really love being creative don’t you?” She looked up at me with a light in her eyes, smiled broadly and said “yeah” then she let out a laugh and said “I do” before returning to her coloring. It made me wonder what would happen if as a whole society we started to value more art, healing, and transformation as an essential part of the human experience that could even be incorporated into the rehabilitation of our prison systems. I have seen quite a bit of humanity working in prison settings and it always reminds me see that even in darkness light is found. I believe that seeing the light in the darkness is where transformation can begin, artistic expression might be but one bridge to start the process of emotional healing, forgiveness, rehabilitation, and transformation.

-Liz Kelly

p.s. I was unaware of it when I wrote this post, but after our supervision meeting, I learned about this being the season of Epiphany – a season of light in the darkness.