‘Tis the season, for busy schedules, hustle and bustle and weather concerns. I am feeling the pressure of finals and assessments culminating the end of my third semester of graduate school. As I sit to write this blog post, I realize I need motivation. I have a desire to express myself artistically yet an inability to motivate myself to do so. Where is that coming from? I am realizing that in the midst of all that is going on in my life I am outside of my window of tolerance. The window of tolerance is a term coined by mindfulness master, Daniel Siegel, who describes it as an area of arousal in which we can function. Certain stressors can push us outside the window’s threshold either above the threshold causing anxiety or strong emotions or below the threshold causing us to shut down or become passive.
I find this idea of the window of tolerance so fascinating because it resonates with what I am experiencing and witnessing in each of the programs I am involved with here at Emmanuel. Monday night in the Art and Spirituality group I felt a strong sensation between my eyebrows above my nose as I listened to a co-intern hold space for an inmate who is having a difficult experience. I realized the next day that in that experience I was beginning to drop below my window of tolerance. At the end of the program I became very quiet and somewhat numb when the other volunteers and I were told to leave the program room and the inmates were made to stay. I felt my heart sink. I was worried. I wondered what was happening that caused the women to have to stay in the room after the program had ended. The stressor of not knowing the reason for this alteration to the usual schedule and the uncertainty around what was happening after we left affected my demeanor. At this point I dropped below my threshold and shut down internally and externally.
Last week in our intern meeting we discussed our workshop attendance and how to get participants involved in the groups we are facilitating. These arts-based groups may be intimidating for some individuals who don’t feel experienced with certain media. We spoke about inviting participants in-person to the workshops, explaining to them what we intend to do and acknowledging concerns around the idea of performance. I see these in-person invitations as a way of supporting a balanced window of tolerance for participants. By encouraging risk taking while supporting where someone is at this time we are reducing the overwhelming feelings around involvement in the arts.
From the moment we enter our program at Lesley University we are told to practice self-care, to tend to our needs so that we can support others and to notice and be aware of what is happing in our selves. Not surprising that I need self-care the most in the least convenient times, when I’m in the midst of navigating a nuance or when stress seems to be in the 10-day forecast. Its easier said than done yet it benefits me tenfold if I am able to find a ritual or routine and stay with it. I love using mantras. One of my favorites is “Om Vardhanam Namah” (I nourish the universe and the universe nourishes me.) I find it helpful in moments of uncertainty and difficulty. Repeating phrases like I am flexible, powerful and balanced helps me to center, ground and clear my mind when I’m stressed and a brisk walk or stepping into the dance studio usually gets my creative juices flowing. Most of these practices were gleaned from different offerings and invitations presented to me. I want to offer and invite members of Art and Spirituality, common art and Café Arts to practice self-care and to find what it is that helps them stay balanced within their window of tolerance and I invite you to take a moment to think about what kind of self-care you may need to maintain balance within your window of tolerance during this exciting time of year.
I feel that my experiences in Art and Spirituality, common art and Café Emmanuel have aided me in developing a skill set to understand what is happening internally. The work we are doing in these programs is challenging, rewarding, fascinating and extraordinary and I am so grateful for the opportunity to spend the next seven months here developing, contributing, growing and creating.
Jessi, Dec. 14, 2014